I fight this panicky sense of desperation lately...wanting so badly to have things happen...and watching helplessly as my plans fall like innumerable grains of sand through my fingers. I've pleaded with God these past weeks that His will be done - His will and not mine. But when, yet again, I come up empty handed I struggle with understanding what then His plan is. Am I so far off? How long do I . . .can I. . . wait? And then, like a sweet spring shower bringing life and freshness and hope, I am reminded again that His plan is worth waiting for. That He hasn't forgotten. That no matter what, He is still worthy. More worthy than i could ever fathom.
This is my prayer in the desert, when all else within me feels dry.
This is my prayer in my hunger and need, my God is the God who provides.
And this is my prayer in the fire . . .
I will bring praise, I will bring praise . . . no weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice; I will declare; God is my victory and He is here.
All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.
Yes God, no matter the circumstances, no matter the struggle, no matter the feelings of desperation, longing, the hunger for answers - I STILL have reason to sing. YOU are my reason to worship. No matter what goes "wrong" in life - YOU are still God.
David, in his darkest hour still clung to the hope that is You. "Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil." He mimics my heart's cry when he asks (Psalm 13:1-3), "How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will you hide Your face from me? . . . Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes."
And then I hear again those words from Hillsong United, "All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have reason to sing; I have reason to worship." And David wakes, as if from a stupor, (13:5), "But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me."
In EVERY season, You are still God. I have a reason to worship.